"that's a complex issue for me at this point in time. as a nihilist, i should really just be thinking about myself, but the dam is hard to ignore. its looming mass of nothingness is a metaphor for our godless universe. upon the occasional i have left my mark upon it because, as i'm sure you can tell by my body adornment, i am an Artist of Doom. cast your gaze into my bicep if you dare, there you will find a tattoo of chaos and destruction. go ahead if you wish to stare into the lair of oblivion. but beware: once ensnared, there is no escape from my upper arm. look at it, it will transfix you. behold the mouth of madness. don't stare too long. i don't think of it as a tattoo, it's more of a talisman of evil. it's a hexagram. it's a demon trap. it protects me from the forces of darkness and turns them to thine own will. for your own safety, let me walk you through it. that's the evil eye, or belial's eye, depends on who you ask. to the left of that is my humble tribute to my favorite corpse-metal super group autopsy turvy. it was supposed to be a flayed cadaver inverted, but, uh, it didn't really gel. right above that you see the demon goat dog, which represents depravity and rebellion and my love of dogs. this little fella here is modeled after my little fox terrier skipper, who i rechristened be'elz-cifer the damned. he was my demon beast who guarded the gates of my own private hell. but the got hip dysplasia and we had to put him down. i don't want to talk about it.
these are all my original designs. i'm going to put them on t-shirts. take a look at my sketch pad. the first one here is baphomet, which is, of course, the inverted pentogram with the goat skull inside. i've got the baphomet with wings, i thought the wings was a nice touch. makes it look like baphomet is flying. can you imagine anything more evil? i can't. i got a claw holding a cross of bones, flaming cross of bones... burning cross of bones... inverted cross of bones... and a flaming inverted cross of bones with wings inside a baphomet. here's something i'm working on, it's a bloody inverted pentagram made of bone crosses with a screaming skull inside, and if you look closely, you can see inside the screaming skull's mouth - a little baphomet. as soon as i save up some cash, me and the band are going on tour, and we'll sell my t-shirts. i just need a band and a way to get artwork on t-shirts. oh, shit. the salad's burning. great... well, i'll just drown it in dressing.
...the band is going to be just like autopsy turvy. i'm thinking of calling it kill-icide. i've even got these lyrics that i wrote. don't pay any attention that they're written down on this pink stationery in someone else's handwriting, and are inside this envelope addressed to me and sent by someone else and all. i guess i was trying to be ironic or detached or something, the point is, i wrote them...
"uh... i'm talking as somebody else here to myself, that's pretty creepy, huh? anyway.
"oh, dillard, without you i am in a cave,
a cave of despair,
a pocket of air trapped in a mountain of grief.
the avalanche of indifference that you have unleashed
has blocked, has sealed the mouth of this chamber
and entombed me in a blackness of choking denial.
like an egyptian mummy bty the nile
waiting for her archaeologist
to dump his girlfriend
and spread open her sarcophagus
come raid my treasures.
i'll probably cut that 'love, carla' stuff. i don't even get it. now just imagine those words coming out of my mouth along with a lot of blood. all backed by the hardest-core thrash-speed corpse-metal mayhem you can imagine. did i say i was gonna effect my voice to sound like i'm satan? 'cause i am."